FOCUS ON THEIR PRESENCE

The primary reason I love to work as a Medium is to help people find relief. We all grieve.  We all feel regret at times. Everyone has someone they miss whether a relative, friend or animal companion. And for most of us - all of the above!

To see the kind of emotional transformations I witness is truly a gift. That doesn't mean it's a Presto! Chango! experience and that after a reading life is rosy and grief disappears.  But experiencing grief, like so many things, is like peeling an onion. Maybe that's why there are tears involved.

What I tell people, and myself, is to focus on the PRESENCE of those you love, rather than on their absence.  Whether you actively see and feel them in your waking life, or in your dreams, or simply experience them in memory, focusing on what you loved about them and your happiest times together feels decidedly better than beating yourself up for anything you can't change.  We can never change what has already happened but we can shift how we look at the past and use the lessons learned to move forward in life creating the kind of relationships we prefer now.

One of my sisters just had a visit from one brother and his wife.  They used to live in the same area and see each other often but now there is greater distance and their visits are rare, and so more precious.  After a wonderful visit Lynne found herself wishing they could see each other more, remembering what that used to be like. It made her a little sad, after such a happy time.  Their PRESENCE made their ABSENCE feel more acute.

She thought about it and realized how grateful she is to see them as often as she does and decided to focus on the blessings in that. Presto! Chango! She felt some relief.

Even as a Medium, with a unique perspective on life after death, I feel my losses acutely at times. I think of grief as a stealth bomb that attacks without warning, generally to my great surprise.  I feel my father and other loved ones with me day to day - deeply ingrained in my psyche.  Sometimes they tap me on the shoulder or tickle my funny bone but mostly they whisper advice or just hang out with me.

Trying to explain why the stealth grief had struck the other day I declared, through tears, "Today I really wish I could sit and talk with my Dad, to see him and hear him the way I used to! He's with me, I know it, but it feels different."

Just as quickly I caught myself laughing.  I have a video I took of him during his last visit to me.  He was strong and vibrant and healthy. We sat and talked; I interviewed him about his life. It was illuminating and great fun for both of us.

I thought the video had been stolen in a burglary and felt bereft all over again at its loss.  One day, months later, the "voices" helped me find it. I made copies and sent it to my family.

I had come across my own unviewed copy the morning the grief-bomb struck.  One of the things my Dad liked to say is "God helps those who help themselves."

I guess it's my turn to take my own advice.  Say it with me now - Focus on Their Presence. Use what's at your disposal - photos, films, cards, letters or simply your memory banks. Appreciate what was. Appreciate what IS. It will raise your "spirits" - I promise!

It Is Only With the Heart That One Can See...

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye" is a quote that has inspired me for years, and I have never even read The Little Prince, by Antoine de-Saint Exupery, in which it is found. What we need to hear finds us, don't you think?

As I embarked on my own healing journey, convinced that happiness was possible for me, the resources of the universe aligned and I began to find teachers and inspiration nearly everywhere I looked.

That includes all of those who helped me learn what I didn't want, they are naturally part of the equation, and often my most powerful motivators for change.

It took me a long time to realize that happiness really IS an inside job but what an empowering breakthrough that discovery was for me! 

At the same time, the meditative practices I embraced when I felt the need of a lifeline after a painful break-up have proven the single most restorative, balancing and intuition expanding activities in my life.

Had I not been open to a friend offering me a guided meditation tape (yes, that long ago) I'm not sure what would have helped me crawl out of the hole of despair I sank into some months later when heartbreak hit.

Now I understand so much more fully how operators really are standing by, in the angelic AND physical realms, to help each and every one of us.

My first meditation teacher is also an intuitive practitioner, who told me many mind blowing things over the years - including that I was also able to read for people. He knew before I knew and I am ever grateful for his encouragement.

Probably the most profound thing he ever told me, as I cried on his shoulder after yet another topsy-turvy love affair had gone awry was "When you love yourself 100% of the time, you'll find someone who loves you 100% of the time."

As simple as his statement was I was baffled.  "But Gary, I do love myself" I defended, after a brief stunned silence. "I do lots of nurturing things for me, more than many people I know."

I could picture him patiently smiling across the phone line when he said "I don't mean treating yourself to a massage or a mani-pedi. I mean loving and accepting yourself 100% of the time."

It took a while to sink in and even longer to make peace with my inner critic in a way that helped me truly fall in love with myself, warts and all. In fact it is a work ever in progress but the incredible part is that I hold all the power in that particular love relationship.

And so do you.  If you have ever adored another person, try looking at yourself in that same giddy light. If you have ever made a wish list of the qualities you are seeking in a love partner do an internal inventory and see if you possess those same charms.

In my opinion, none of us can ever find in the world what we do not radiate from within.  If you want acceptance, unconditional love, passion and joy in your relationships exhibit those qualities when dealing with everyone, including YOU!

Whether you are blissfully in love, working out some relationship kinks, or looking for the love of your life, it may help to take a look inside your heart to find those desirable "essential invisibles" already in your possession.

Shine your inner light upon them and watch how it illuminates your way to finding all that your heart desires.