WISH UPON A STAR

I can see why Spiritualists got a bad rap. I recently participated in a book club conversation that took an unexpected turn. The book we read is called Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach.  This particular group meets in a cemetery and selects non-fiction in this vein. Last time we read Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory so you get the scene.

In Spook the author seems to be looking for intelligent, believable, trustworthy signs of life in the world of psychic phenomena and practitioners. Unfortunately she begins in the Victorian Era where some of the greatest psychic frauds were perpetuated – faked séances, spirit boxes, ectoplasm (gooey faux ghost guts) pouring from orifices you’d rather not receive anything poured from – definitely not our glory days. Her search continues through more recent history. Her conclusion is that alleged psychic experiences are essentially a bunch of crackpot hooey.

The first time I tried to read Spook years ago it made me angry. As a practicing psychic medium I felt really dissed. Then the universe gave me the gift of re-visiting it (because I love this book group) and I found I felt kind of sad for Mary. My impression is she really wants to find someone or something to believe in, but that her well developed logical mind and perhaps deep seated old fears keep kicking in.

Have you ever felt that way yourself? Do you sense there is knowledge, wisdom, inspiration, opportunity, answers, perhaps even miracles floating around you in some sort of invisible force field you can’t break into? Does everybody “get it” except you?  Whatever “it” may be?

I understand.  Completely.  Deeply.  I remember decades ago sitting in a car with a friend on a starry night. “Make a wish?” Robert asked me.  I imagine I gave him the look. “No, really.  If you knew I had the power to grant you a wish what would it be?”  Before my big reveal, take a deep breath and ask yourself the same thing.  “If I could grant myself just one wish what would it be?”

Grab the impressions quickly. What was the first thing that popped into your head? Don’t worry about it making sense or being a good enough wish.  Realize we don’t get only ONE wish – the universe is so much more generous than that. Write it down if that helps. Try again if you feel there are more unspoken wishes seeking your attention in your secret hidden “What If?” treasure chest. If you hear someone telling you “This is ridiculous” yay! You are learning to actually “hear” your internal discourse.

If someone is telling you “This is fun!” yay! That’s another inside voice that speaks to you sometimes. The key to connecting with and empowering yourself to use your intuition is learning which voices are speaking. As with any guidance you listen to you may want to ask – “How does what I am hearing benefit me?” If you aren’t feeling the love the next question may be – “How does what I’m hearing limit me?” Even more simply – “Does this feel good? Does this feel bad?”

Because here’s the deal - we each have a raging internal Greek chorus inside. The songs are all composed by us based on what we have been exposed to all our lives. Every bit of well meaning advice we gleaned from our parents, teachers, priests, politicians, and pundits of every sort have steeped into an alphabet soup of endless, if often garbled, direction about how life works. And from this we make our lives work, or not so much work, the way we choose. Our choices are infinite and 100% our own.

At this moment you may feel liberated or terrified depending on your perspective. You may even feel a bit touchy, like a woman I spoke with recently who adamantly argued that she is not in control of “choosing” how she feels about what happens to her. And you know what?  She’s right! She isn't in control of her responses to things. Her belief systems have her locked down in a way that she feels at the effect of what is happening in her life rather than being in the driver’s seat creating a life that makes her wishes come true.

This is where I think Mary missed the boat – at the intersection of faith and proof. Although it would be fascinating to find scientific “proof” of psychic phenomena, among other things, all that matters in YOUR life is what YOU believe. Beliefs simply influence our ability to produce what we want in our lives. Our beliefs open and close possibilities that what we desire can manifest for us.

Now back to that starry night so many moons ago. I huffed and puffed and grabbed what jumped into my generally unhappy, angry, skeptical consciousness to declare, unbelieving “I wish just once I could believe in something and it could come true!”  Magically, he had given me my wish, as a possibility. Once that unexpected answer shot out of me I knew what I was looking to find – faith, hope, and the ability to craft my life - instead of always wrestling with it and getting pinned down. Not in a good way…

I can’t tell you everything was easy after that. It was one of those first steps of a thousand mile journey I am still navigating my way through. But I promise you your internal compass is completely attuned to the destinations you most want to reach. Your guidance is speaking to you in every moment – it’s simply a matter of tuning out the static and honing into the signal #myheartsdesire.  Try it! What have you got to lose?  I look forward to hearing where that leads you.

FOCUS ON THEIR PRESENCE

The primary reason I love to work as a Medium is to help people find relief. We all grieve.  We all feel regret at times. Everyone has someone they miss whether a relative, friend or animal companion. And for most of us - all of the above!

To see the kind of emotional transformations I witness is truly a gift. That doesn't mean it's a Presto! Chango! experience and that after a reading life is rosy and grief disappears.  But experiencing grief, like so many things, is like peeling an onion. Maybe that's why there are tears involved.

What I tell people, and myself, is to focus on the PRESENCE of those you love, rather than on their absence.  Whether you actively see and feel them in your waking life, or in your dreams, or simply experience them in memory, focusing on what you loved about them and your happiest times together feels decidedly better than beating yourself up for anything you can't change.  We can never change what has already happened but we can shift how we look at the past and use the lessons learned to move forward in life creating the kind of relationships we prefer now.

One of my sisters just had a visit from one brother and his wife.  They used to live in the same area and see each other often but now there is greater distance and their visits are rare, and so more precious.  After a wonderful visit Lynne found herself wishing they could see each other more, remembering what that used to be like. It made her a little sad, after such a happy time.  Their PRESENCE made their ABSENCE feel more acute.

She thought about it and realized how grateful she is to see them as often as she does and decided to focus on the blessings in that. Presto! Chango! She felt some relief.

Even as a Medium, with a unique perspective on life after death, I feel my losses acutely at times. I think of grief as a stealth bomb that attacks without warning, generally to my great surprise.  I feel my father and other loved ones with me day to day - deeply ingrained in my psyche.  Sometimes they tap me on the shoulder or tickle my funny bone but mostly they whisper advice or just hang out with me.

Trying to explain why the stealth grief had struck the other day I declared, through tears, "Today I really wish I could sit and talk with my Dad, to see him and hear him the way I used to! He's with me, I know it, but it feels different."

Just as quickly I caught myself laughing.  I have a video I took of him during his last visit to me.  He was strong and vibrant and healthy. We sat and talked; I interviewed him about his life. It was illuminating and great fun for both of us.

I thought the video had been stolen in a burglary and felt bereft all over again at its loss.  One day, months later, the "voices" helped me find it. I made copies and sent it to my family.

I had come across my own unviewed copy the morning the grief-bomb struck.  One of the things my Dad liked to say is "God helps those who help themselves."

I guess it's my turn to take my own advice.  Say it with me now - Focus on Their Presence. Use what's at your disposal - photos, films, cards, letters or simply your memory banks. Appreciate what was. Appreciate what IS. It will raise your "spirits" - I promise!

It Is Only With the Heart That One Can See...

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye" is a quote that has inspired me for years, and I have never even read The Little Prince, by Antoine de-Saint Exupery, in which it is found. What we need to hear finds us, don't you think?

As I embarked on my own healing journey, convinced that happiness was possible for me, the resources of the universe aligned and I began to find teachers and inspiration nearly everywhere I looked.

That includes all of those who helped me learn what I didn't want, they are naturally part of the equation, and often my most powerful motivators for change.

It took me a long time to realize that happiness really IS an inside job but what an empowering breakthrough that discovery was for me! 

At the same time, the meditative practices I embraced when I felt the need of a lifeline after a painful break-up have proven the single most restorative, balancing and intuition expanding activities in my life.

Had I not been open to a friend offering me a guided meditation tape (yes, that long ago) I'm not sure what would have helped me crawl out of the hole of despair I sank into some months later when heartbreak hit.

Now I understand so much more fully how operators really are standing by, in the angelic AND physical realms, to help each and every one of us.

My first meditation teacher is also an intuitive practitioner, who told me many mind blowing things over the years - including that I was also able to read for people. He knew before I knew and I am ever grateful for his encouragement.

Probably the most profound thing he ever told me, as I cried on his shoulder after yet another topsy-turvy love affair had gone awry was "When you love yourself 100% of the time, you'll find someone who loves you 100% of the time."

As simple as his statement was I was baffled.  "But Gary, I do love myself" I defended, after a brief stunned silence. "I do lots of nurturing things for me, more than many people I know."

I could picture him patiently smiling across the phone line when he said "I don't mean treating yourself to a massage or a mani-pedi. I mean loving and accepting yourself 100% of the time."

It took a while to sink in and even longer to make peace with my inner critic in a way that helped me truly fall in love with myself, warts and all. In fact it is a work ever in progress but the incredible part is that I hold all the power in that particular love relationship.

And so do you.  If you have ever adored another person, try looking at yourself in that same giddy light. If you have ever made a wish list of the qualities you are seeking in a love partner do an internal inventory and see if you possess those same charms.

In my opinion, none of us can ever find in the world what we do not radiate from within.  If you want acceptance, unconditional love, passion and joy in your relationships exhibit those qualities when dealing with everyone, including YOU!

Whether you are blissfully in love, working out some relationship kinks, or looking for the love of your life, it may help to take a look inside your heart to find those desirable "essential invisibles" already in your possession.

Shine your inner light upon them and watch how it illuminates your way to finding all that your heart desires.

AN ANTIDOTE TO DESPAIR

No matter where you live, how you live, who you are, every day holds opportunities to witness reasons to despair and to rejoice. What happens, happens - most of the time we have little or no direct impact on what is unfolding. Where our power lies is in how we respond to what comes.

After the tragic events in Newton I chose to reign in my sadness and focus on sending healing light to all who have been impacted. As the news spread those affected expanded exponentially; fortunately the source of the light is infinite.

Not knowing what to say that might contribute to the healing process I choose to be silent. Then I ran into Stephen.  We don't know each other well, but we share some interests and beliefs and seem to literally pop up in each other's path at the most opportune times. I am always excited to see him, because I know there is a gift for us in the making when we meet.

It is impossible to overlook Stephen. He seems about nine feet tall, has an inimitable style and radiates a vivid intensity even when he's chilling.

I was running late for an event but evidently my timing was perfect as I saw Stephen outside my destination, intensely focused on heading somewhere himself. When I literally got in his face (by raising my arms and fluttering my hands) he exclaimed "Oh Girl, I am so glad to see you! I have a story to tell."

He recounted how he heard of the shooting and how he began to spiral into the darkness at the thought. He experienced the outrage and grief and vulnerability that such events inspire. He went into his shell, snapping at anyone who came close. After he found himself going off on a loved one he said "Now wait a minute."

"And then I remembered one of the things Abraham said. They said shouting NO! at something is like magnetizing that thing right to you. I said I've got to deal with this another way."

"What I did, and it wasn't easy, trust me, but I took $100 and went to the Safeway. I walked up to the Manager, gave him the money and said 'I'm buying some one's groceries tonight.' He asked me who and I said 'I don't know yet.' "

Stephen walked around the store looking for the people who might need the most relief. He found a young couple with a baby - carefully shopping from a list. He saw their stress and felt their tension, as if they were spread thin in many ways.

When they went to the checkout he went back to the manager and said "There they are." He waited at the exit. After their groceries were rung up they got good the news.  The woman looked up stunned and asked "Who?"

That's when Stephen slipped through the door. And out of his despair.

Horrible things happen every day. But angels do walk the earth and each one of us has unlimited opportunity to be one of them. All it takes is shining some light into the darkness; fortunately you have an infinite supply.

RELEASING RESISTANCE

I was asked recently how I handle skeptics. Something that epitomizes my approach to people who are reluctant to believe it is possible to connect with those living as spirit comes from one of the Matrix movies. 

Morpheus is losing his followers in droves.  Their civilization is in tatters.  Everyone is panicking. They cannot see the path he is trying to lead them on.  One of them tries to open his eyes, to get him to wake up - "Morpheus, nobody sees it like you do.  They don't believe in you!"

Morpheus replies with calm conviction - "Fortunately my belief system does not require that they do."

A wise woman taught me something literally life changing.  She helped me recognize that I can accept any person's point of view on anything without agreeing with it.  So often we collapse the two concepts together.

Beliefs are simply points of view - the way I see life from my unique perspective.  I may not embrace each person's belief system but I can accept it as being valid from that person's individual point of view.  Oh what a relief that is! 

I cannot know what informs any one's experience other than my own. I know what I hear and see and sense.  I have personally experienced the healing power of communicating with those no longer in physical form.  The people I read for have told me the same has been true for them.  That's all I've got, but it's enough for me.

As for skeptics, I respect and bless them, as I do all my fellow travelers as we tread this path of happy destiny.  I'm not here to prove anything.  I am here to be of service for those who ask, 

I did read something funny on another psychic's blog in relation to skeptics she said "Don't test me by asking me to tell you your middle name!"

I laughed at that but also consider it wise advice.  Why waste time asking someone to tell you what you already know? 

No one HAS to consult with a psychic.  If you feel guided to enlist a psychic's aid my best advice is to come with an open mind and heart.  Releasing resistance can open up possibilities you may never have imagined.  What do you have to lose?

PERMISSION GRANTED

I've just returned from doing readings in sunny Southern California - what bliss!  It's interesting to note that a theme that emerged amongst all my clients was seeking "permission" or "approval" to do one thing or another.

Whether questions came up about who to marry, who to un-marry, where to live, what livelihood to pursue, should I believe in something or some one (or not) or what is my best path to healing - the concept of wanting someone else to bless such personal choices came through loud and clear.

I appreciate the fact that people come to me for guidance as I have come to so many others over time. I know I can sometimes see and hear what you cannot and that our work together can be very healing. Please don't misunderstand my observation as criticism - it was just interesting to see the pattern emerge. I thank each of you for providing me the inspiration to write about it.

Energetically it may be that people who have not yet given themselves permission to trust their instincts and do what feels best to them come to me because I have been where they are and am operating from a much more confident and powerful knowingness now.

Am I the Yin to their Yang? Or do I recognize ways they may unconsciously be giving their power away so poignantly because I am a reformed / recovering permission seeker?

I'd like to credit a man I tried not to work for who turned out to be my best boss ever with helping me break free. (My guidance finally convinced me to say "yes" to the job thank goodness.) Among many things he taught me was the quote "It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

That was a risky thing to do considering how often I used it on him during our years together, but he understood how important it is to do what feels right whether others understand what's in your heart or not.

If I could say "Presto Change-o!" and give one gift to every person on the planet it would be the power to trust your internal guidance systems. They are highly calibrated, and can tell you everything you ever need to know if you learn to listen to them.

To expand your ability to hear your infallible inner GPS, practice being quiet and try to distinguish the still small patient, yet persistent, voice of your intuition from the roar of all the programming you have absorbed over time. Think of it like turning off the news when you find it depressing or clicking off a scary movie when you know it will give you nightmares.

In just five minutes a day of sitting quietly focusing on your breath or by consciously turning your attention to something that floats your boat for the same amount of time, you can begin to reconnect with your own personal wisdom source.

Let me know the miracles that begin to manifest for you when you recognize the only one who needs to approve of what you do is you!

THE FEAR FACTOR

If you are considering it may be possible for people like me (and you!) to tap into the collective consciousness to "know" things you may be feeling some trepidation.

People often ask me if I am barraged with messages 24/7/365. Thankfully, I'm not. I don't chose to be and feel spirit respects my choices, although at times I am certainly prodded to pass on a message when I didn't intend to have my X-ray vision working. 

I then choose whether the tug is so strong that I convey the message I'm given - which can be unsettling for both me and the stranger I am approaching - or I choose to ask spirit to seek another channel to reach their intended.

Just like you never have to watch a scary movie (OK maybe just a peek on Halloween) should you choose to get in touch with and expand your intuitive guidance you can still have some influence on what comes to you and when.

When you learn to trust spirit more fully you will be able to discern when you are being encouraged to pass on something to someone who cannot hear it by other means. You may be willing to risk looking foolish to do what you are guided to do.  I have never had anyone be less than receptive to my approaching them with a message and in most cases they express heartfelt gratitude.

If you're still sitting on the other side of the psychic fence, afraid I will spot you on the street one day and tell you something you'd rather not know - don't worry!  I can't see what you don't offer.

Recently I met a young woman who knew I get messages about people and was hoping I had something for her. I looked, nothing.  She seemed crushed so I tried again - not a peep.

"That's OK" she gasped, letting out the breath she'd been holding in, "I'm afraid."

"Don't worry, I can't see for you if you don't want me to." I told her.

"But I really want to!" she cried.

At that moment I was flooded with spirit as if enfolded in some one's arms. Her mother's, as it turned out. 

In the end I don't think we came to play it safe. I think we are here because there is so much to explore and so much expansion available to us in this magical time that we probably had to win a very special lottery to be a part of it.

On this spookiest of nights I encourage you to let go of your fears and choose to welcome spirit more fully into your life. You may find yourself divinely guided, too!